


I Knew You Would Stay

by Cody_Helene



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (sorta) - Freeform, Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Canon-Typical Violence, Captain America Sam Wilson, F U, HEY RUSSOS, LET HER LIVE IT GODDAMN, Love Confessions, M/M, Nomad Steve Rogers, PEGGY CARTER HAD A LIFE, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Canon Fix-It, Steve Rogers would never, Wow, but i still love you bc did you see Seb's hair?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-29 01:58:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18768859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cody_Helene/pseuds/Cody_Helene
Summary: Steve lived a life, but was it the one he wanted?Bucky knows he has to move on like Steve did but does he have it in him?-or-Steve gets stuck in the past and is forced to live out his life there until he can get back to his Bucky. The problem is, does BuckyknowSteve stayed away unwillingly?





	I Knew You Would Stay

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Я знал, что ты останешься](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20072866) by [Cody_Helene](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cody_Helene/pseuds/Cody_Helene), [fandomStarbucks2019](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomStarbucks2019/pseuds/fandomStarbucks2019), [Magdalena_sylar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magdalena_sylar/pseuds/Magdalena_sylar)



> Hello and welcome one and all to my shitty Stucky fic!!!  
> So here's the deal guys, I watch Endgame and at first I was like 'okay that's... cool I guess" but the more I thought about it the more pissed I became. Peggy deserved better, Steve deserved better, Bucky deserved better, EVERYONE DESERVED BETTER. So i wrote this thing and tbh I couldn't get the charecters down (Marvel charecters are hard to write?) but I figured I'd post it anyway bc fuck it.   
> I hope you enjoy :)))  
> -Cody Helene   
> Tumbler: @Cody-Helene (hmu if you wanna chat Endgame)   
> P.s Thank you @hotwheels_kin for beta-ing even tho you and your DC ass had no clue what was going on

Steve had told him he’d see him in five seconds. Bucky had said he’d miss Steve because he knew the truth. But even knowing, Bucky listened to Bruce count diligently. Bruce stopped at five and started to panic, Bucky didn’t. He reached seven and he knew that was it, Steve wasn’t coming back. He let out a breath and walked away.   


He shouldn’t have hoped, he knew how this would end — Steve would go to her, they’d have a dance, a life, adopt a few kids. They’d be happy. And Bucky was happy that Steve was happy, he really was. He just wished they could have been happy together. He could have done it, be the reason for Steve’s happiness, or, at least, he would have tried his damn hardest. If he had been given the chance. But he hadn’t. All he got was a “don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone” and a pat on the back, and then an empty platform.   
It hurt more than it should have, knowing he was Steve’s second choice, especially when Steve was it for Bucky, always had been. Steve was his best friend, the love of his life, his endgame.  


Now he had to figure out what to do without him.   


*****

Sam came back to his house with the shield and once again, Bucky wasn’t surprised. He should have known that sentimental bastard would show up again. Bucky tried not to wonder if Steve had asked about him, realized he wasn’t there.   


_It doesn’t matter, he’s gone now._ Bucky told himself. 

“I think I’ll go back to Wakanda,” Bucky said, not looking up from the book on his lap. He heard Sam stumble in the other room where he was still cleaning off the dust from their five-year sabbatical, then saw him peek around the wall. He looked sad. This time Bucky was surprised.   


“If that’s what you want, Brooklyn, but you’re welcome here for as long as you want to stay.” Bucky watched as Sam leaned against the doorframe, arms and legs crossed, a serious look on his face. He was stealing moves out of Steve’s playbook.   


_Not fair._  


Sam knew how Bucky felt. Five years in the Soul Stone to makeup, become friends, apologize for past attempts of murder. Five years that went by slowly once they ran out of things to say, so Bucky started talking about Steve and Sam had listened. He knew what he was doing now, Bucky could see it on that stupid psychologist face of his.   


“I miss the quiet,” Bucky said, looking away from Sam and his Steve Rogers-esk persona. Sam snorted.   


“Bull,” Sam pushed off the wall and walked over to sit next to Bucky on the couch, “you couldn’t live without the noise of this city. You miss Steve.” It was stated matter-of-factly, and Bucky knew he couldn’t convince Sam otherwise. Sam placed a hand on his shoulder, Bucky looked down at his hands.  


“It’s only been five hours, why do I miss him already?” He asked quietly, he heard Sam sigh.   


“Five hours for you, a lifetime for him.” Bucky didn’t know what that meant but he didn’t bother opening his mouth to ask. The action seemed like to much work at that moment.   


“He asked about you, you know,” Sam broke the silence a few moments later. Bucky couldn’t help the satisfaction that bloomed in his chest at that. “He suspected you wouldn’t be there, but he was still looking for you. He misses you, Buck.” Bucky shook his head.  


“He coulda come back anytime, if he really missed me it wouldn’t have taken him so long.” He could practically _feel_ Sam roll his eyes, but Bucky didn’t look up from his lap.   


“He took three minutes.” Sam tried to reason, but Bucky just let out a humorless laugh.  


“He took seventy years.” And then Bucky understood. He understood what Sam had said, understood why it hurt so much.   


They had finally had it. They had both been alive and sane in the same year, standing right next to each other. And Steve threw it away. He lived an entire life without Bucky, jumped right in and didn’t even look back.  


Bucky only spent seconds without Steve and it had hurt like a sucker punch to the ribs. Steve spent decades without Bucky and Steve had _lived._  


Lived knowing that Bucky was at that platform waiting for him the entire time. Lived knowing Bucky would be there for him, just like he always had been. Lived knowing Bucky well enough to at least suspect that he would have been too hurt to wait around the extra three minutes it took for Steve to show back up, old and wrinkled from a happy, well-lived life.  


Steve had been able to live without Bucky. Bucky knew he’d have to fight to live without Steve.   


*****

“It worked with Scott,” Steve tried to reason, but Bruce didn’t budge.   


“We got lucky with Scott.” He hadn’t even turned around to say it, choosing instead to continue fiddling with whatever do-dad he was messing with for the past thirty minutes. “Besides, once you start messing with the aging cycling, reversing it, slowing it, whatever, you become a god, and we already have too many god-complexes on this team.” Steve rolled his eyes.  


“Bruce, come on, please,” Steve couldn’t believe he had resorted to begging, the only person he had ever begged in all of his 170 years was little Shannon when she was a toddler running rampant around the Carter household. That had been a weird experience, to say the least, seeing Shannon Carter grow up considering their future... Well her future, his past. All he could do was hope it doesn’t actually happen for her now. Well _that_ her.   


_Time travel is too confusing._ Steve thought 

“Look, I don’t know why this is so important to you, man, you lived a full life, you probably will continue living for at least ten more years. Be satisfied with that, you got everything you ever wanted-” Steve shot up from the stool he had been perched on.  


“I didn’t get him.” Steve hissed, and Bruce finally looked back over his shoulder, watching Steve cautiously. “I tried to come back, I tried _everything_. But young Tony wasn’t ready for that yet, Pym refused to help, you were still a kid yourself.” Steve huffed and crossed his arms.   


“I didn’t _live_ , Bruce, I was stuck. I waited.” Steve was glad when Bruce didn’t ask who ‘he’ was, though he suspected he already knew. Sam knew, that much was certain.  


The doctor stared at him, calculating, his head tilted to the side. Finally, he sighed, rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses.   


“It’s dangerous,” Bruce said, but Steve could tell his resolve was weakening, “I could accidentally over-age you and kill you, and I’m not sure how it would work with your serum, not sure what would happen if I accidentally made you into a child. Rebirth could potentially be reversed.”   


“I’m okay with that,” Stave stated, nonchalantly, Bruce looked startled. “I already passed on the shield, if I become a shrimp again then I can deal with that. There’s medicine that can help me now.” Bruce took a deep breath.   


“Okay.” Steve broke into a smile, the first real one since he noticed Bucky was gone.  


“Okay?” He asked and Bruce nodded.   


“I’ll look into it, talk to Frank and Shuri, see if they have any ideas on how to make it safer.” Steve couldn’t help himself, he sprung forward and hugged his old friend. It was awkward with his new size, but Bruce returned the embrace for a second, then he was talking again. “On one condition.” Steve pulled away and nodded, waiting for Bruce to continue.   


“Tell him how you feel before we try it. If everything goes right and… Make sure he wants you because, after this Steve, you’ll have another full life to live and if he decides he wants to go on without you like you did without him… Well, I don’t want to see what that would do to you.”  


“I didn’t want to live without him,” Steve started to argue, but he had lost Bruce’s attention to whatever he had been working on before.  


“Does he know that?” And Steve didn’t know what to say to that.   


Bucky knew _him,_ they’d ended, fought, and started wars with each other, _for_ each other. Surely he knew that Steve was trying to get home all along. Surely he knew. He had to. Because if Bucky thought Steve abandoned him…   


_“Fuck.”_  


*****

Sam liked to make him leave the house. Apparently it was good for him to “get out and about.” Bucky preferred the living room couch to a park bench but sometimes it was nice to sit in the sun and watch all the people going about their normal lives, more or less oblivious to how much Bucky’s friends had sacrificed to bring them all back.   


And sometimes Bucky wished he was one of them. They were so used to mediocrity that their boring little lives were exciting and Bucky was jealous. That’s what he wanted, a bland life. No superheroes, no world saving, no Steve.  


_Steve._ The thought was accompanied by blue eyes staring at him, weathered a wrinkled.   


Bucky huffed and put his head in his hands. He had been trying not to think about it — about being second best, runner up, the consolation prize — and he had been doing well. Sam was helping him keep his mind off of it, though he had been hesitant at first, told him he should talk to Steve, invited him out to go get coffee with them, but eventually, he had come around.   


They had started going out, exploring a city brand new for Bucky. Sometimes he’d recognize places, see flashes of the past; drunken stumblings here, flashes of Steve’s jumper as he fought some dick in an alleyway there… Sam helped him make new memories, not to replace the old ones — Bucky had just gotten those back, he wasn’t ready to let them go again — but to go along with them. New streets, new century, new friends.   


Sometimes he was happy, sometimes he’d realize that the smile on his face was, for once, real, sometimes Sam would startle a laugh out of him with some stupid pun or bad joke. But most of the time he was hurting.   


Sam told him he could see it, behind Bucky’s eyes, even when he was laughing. It was in those moments that Sam told him to go see Steve again. “You can’t move on until you let go of the past,” Sam would say and Bucky would regret ever becoming friends with a therapist.   


A kid screamed and Bucky’s head shot up out of his hands, eyes scanning restlessly for the child. He relaxed, sighing and sinking back into the bench when he saw a mother comforting her crying child that had just fallen off the stone wall that she must have been balancing on.   


Bucky was starting to get restless, he needed something to do.   


His leg bounced as he thought about calling up Sam to see if he needed any help on his newest mission. Bucky had told Sam he didn’t want to get involved with hero-ing again, he was perfectly fine living a civilian life. They both knew that he had been lying but the effects of idleness hadn’t started to set in until just then.   


He fished his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it, staring at Sam’s contact until the screen went dark again. Bucky hated admitting when he was wrong. He set his phone down onto the bench next to him and watched as the mother walked her daughter out of the park, happily living their normal lives.  


_Normal…_ Normal was never going to happen for him and he knew it. May as well accept it and move on. Bucky sighed and reached for his phone, jumping when it started ringing as soon as he grabbed it.   


_Private Number_ the screen read. Bucky shrugged and raised the phone to his ear. He had nothing better to do, may as well talk to a stranger.   


_“Barnes.”_ A voice said the moment he answered. He threw his head back with a groan.   


“Hill.” He was about to go on to tell her that, no, he didn’t want to be Fury’s errand boy and, yes, he was sure about that, but then he remembered why he had picked up the phone in the first place. “What’s the job?” He asked. Maria was silent for a moment before clearing her throat. He must have surprised her, an impressive feat for Maria Hill.   


_“Firstly, we call them missions, not jobs. Jobs are hits.”_ She finally spoke.   


“Right and this isn’t a hit? Why come to me then.”   


_“You’re more valuable than a hitman Barnes. I have twenty other agents I could call if I needed someone dead.”_ Or she could do it herself, Bucky was sure of it. He rolled her eyes at her words nonetheless. _Valuable my ass,_ he said to himself. _“This is more… Delicate.”_ Bucky sat straighter at that. He was used to delicate missions, they used to be all he did as the Asset. Until his programming started to go funky that is.   


He would never miss the Asset, but he missed the missions a little, the ones that were more than senseless killings. He missed having a purpose.  
“What’s the mission, Hill,” Bucky asked again. Maria took a breath.   


_“Willson’s gone off the grid, we need you to find him and bring him in.”_  


“I’ll be there in thirty,” Bucky hung up, slipping his phone into his pocket before sprinting off towards Sam’s house.   


*****

It had been two months since Steve came back, Bruce was getting close to finding the answers, and Steve had yet to talk to Bucky. He had been working himself up to it but everytime he reached for his phone to call him up or got close to Sam’s front door he chickened out.   


But he was almost there, each time he got a little closer to hitting the call button. Sam was helping him out, assuring him that Bucky would answer if he called, but Sam was on mission. So Steve was on his way to see Wanda.  


Steve had talked to Wanda a few times since he came back, but never in person. To say he was surprised when she opened the door would be an understatement.   


“Have you picked a name yet?” He asked, openly staring. Wanda rolled her eyes but smiled, one hand moving to rub her swollen belly.  


“I was thinking Thomas,” She paused, her smile growing, “and William.”  


_“Twins,”_ Wanda nodded. Steve wrapped her in a hug. “Congratulation, kid. Where is Vision by the way? I haven’t seen him since Wakanda.” Steve asked, pulling away and looking behind Wanda, but he didn’t miss the way her face dropped. She gestured him into the apartment, closing the door behind him.   


“Shuri hasn’t found a way to bring him back yet,” Steve stated and Wanda smiled sadly.  


“She’s still working on it, she swears she can do it.” A tear rolled down her cheek.  


“She can. The princess is a genius, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” Steve tried to assure. Wanda sniffled.   


“I didn’t even tell him. I was going to but then the snap happened and when I came back he was still gone.” Wanda spoke, once again rubbing her belly absentmindedly. Steve took her hand in his, using it to pull her into another hug.   


“He’ll be here by the time they come, I’m sure of it.” He whispered into her hair, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. She nodded   


“So what about you then?” Wanda asked, pulling away with a sniffle. “Any progress on project rebirth of Rebirth?” Steve rolled his eyes at the name and shook his head.   


“If there is Bruce hasn’t told me. Besides, I have to talk to Bucky before we move forward with the actual process.” Wanda raised an eyebrow.  


“Well? What’s taking you so long?” Steve gaped at her.  


“What’s taking me so— Wanda, have you ever told your best friend that… that you…” Steve couldn’t finish the sentence, he didn’t know what he was going to tell Bucky, that was the problem.   


“My best friend was always my brother so no, it would have been a little weird for me to tell my brother that I wanted to fuck him,” Wanda said with a shrug, turning away and collapsing on the couch, patting the cushion next to her. Steve stood speechless.  


“I don’t want to fuck him,” Steve argued, but Wanda just rolled her eyes and kicked off her shoes.   


“Don’t try to lie to me, it’s obvious, everyone can see it,” she must have seen the look of terror on Steve’s face because she smiled and added, “except Bucky.”   


Wanda turned on the cushion lifting her feet up.  


“Now come rub my feet, I’m eight months pregnant and I’ve been on my feet all day,” Wanda said with a sweet smile that she knew damn well Steve couldn’t say no to.  


*****

Steve had just shut Wanda’s door behind him when he saw him. He was wearing a new uniform, one that more closely resembled his original suit and Steve was both speechless and a little jealous — why did Bucky get combat pants while Steve had always been shoved into spandex? It was then that Steve realized that that was the first time he’d seen Bucky in sixty-odd years. He looked good, his hair tied up and away from his eyes.   


_When did he start working for Fury?_ Steve asked himself, remembering Sam had said he hadn’t been just last week.   


“Buck?” Steve heard himself saying before he realized what he was doing, his curiosity getting the best of him.   


Bucky halted in his steps, no longer striding with purpose. Steve watched with absolute horror as he shrunk in on himself, shifting into a completely different man than he had been just seconds before, no longer powerful and confident. He turned toward Steve.   


“Stevie, good to see you!” Bucky said, trying his hardest to recover, but the happy smile on his face didn’t fit with his posture or the wounded look in his eyes.   


“Sorry, I haven’t been able to come out with you and Sam, I’ve been a little busy with Fury.” Steve opened his mouth to say something — what? He didn’t know. — but Bucky pushed on. “Speaking of, I was actually on my way to a briefing now, important missions and all that, but I’ll see you around?” Bucky wasn’t really asking, Steve could tell, so he didn’t give an answer nor did Bucky wait for one before striding off in the direction he had been going in.   


Steve blinked back tears, backing back through Wanda’s unlocked door.  


*****

_“Be careful, you’re the only person left that I trust to do this.”_ Those were the last words Maria had said to Bucky before sending him off to where they believed Sam was being held, the last severed head of Hydra, barely hanging on.   


Bucky had been careful. He’d picked off the guards quietly, one by one and gotten inside, but they had been waiting for him, expecting him. He made it down three floors in the underground facility before he was overpowered and captured. Now they had him strapped to a chair that resembled the one from his glory days as they chatted about finally recapturing their Asset. He watched as one of them walked over, a journal in hand.   


“Longing,” he started off and Bucky couldn’t help but laugh, the man glared at him and went on, “rusted, furnace,” Bucky glared at the runt standing before him.   


“Are you my new handler now?” He asked. “I have to say, you don’t have a very _alpha_ energy.” Bucky teased, looking around the room. There were six guards, an insultingly small number, all staring at him and the man in front of him who Bucky assumed to be their leader.   


“Daybreak,” The man continued, Bucky growled.  


“Do you speak English? Or should I try Russian.”  


“Seventeen,” The man spoke again, this time louder, obviously growing annoyed.   


“You know it’s not going to work, I had an African princess, genius, philanthropist take you out of my head.”   


“Benign, nine, homecoming, one, freight car.” The man rushed through the remaining words. Bucky raised an eyebrow as the man’s shoulders dropped, he slapped the book closed. “Knock him out, put him with the other one until I decide what to do with them.”   


Bucky rolled his eyes as one of the guards approached him, he knew he was going to have a rager when he woke up.   


_At least I’ll be with Sam._ He thought, just before the guard brought the butt of his gun down against Bucky’s temple. genius 

*****

“Wanda?” Steve heard as he approached Bruce’s lab.   


“Pregnant.” That was Maria. Steve paused just outside the door, listening carefully.   


“Clint?”   


“Retired.”   


“Me?”   


“Not an agent.”   


“T’Challa?”   


“Ruling a country.”   


“Peter?”   


“A literal child.”  


“You?” Maria sighed.  
“

Bruce, Steve is literally our last shot at getting them back. Is your machine ready to go?” _Getting who back?_ Steve wondered.  


“As soon as he talks to Bucky—” Bruce starts but he’s cut off by the loud slam of something against a table. Steve peaks into the room to see Maria, fist on the table, eye to eye with Bruce Banner, not even flinching when the giant green man startles backward.  


“The Winter Soldier is compromised and I’m the one who sent him into the field alone on his first mission.” The small woman growled, Bruce shrunk back. “Is your machine ready, _Doctor Banner?_ ” Maria hadn’t called any of them by their proper names since the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D.Steve was surprised to hear her do so now. Steve must have really been getting old because it took him far too long to process Hill’s words.  


“Compromised?” Steve asked entering the room at last. Hill looked over her shoulder at him.   


“Nice of you to finally stop lurking and join us, Cap.” She said pushing off the table to stand as straight-backed as any soldier Steve had seen in all his days.  


“I’m not the Captain anymore,” Steve said uncaringly, “now where the hell is Bucky.” Maria locked her hands behind her back.   


“I’m going to have to ask you to pick up your shield one last time, Rogers. Both Sam Wilson and James Barnes have gone MIA and I’m out of agents to send.” Steve took a deep breath and nodded.  


“Point me in their direction, Director, and I’ll get them back,” Steve told her, watching her chest puff slightly at the title. Fury was still the director, but everyone knew who really took care of business. “But I’m not touching that shield, it’s Sam’s now.”  


Maria nodded.   


“I’ll have Nomad brought out of storage. Bruce get the machine started up.”  


“I-I haven’t tested it yet,” Bruce argued but Maria was already on her way out the door, talking on her headset as she went. Bruce turned to Steve instead. “Steve, are you sure?” He was obviously nervous so Steve gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile and nodded.   


“Show me where to stand, Doc, I’m ready.”   


*****

Steve expected pain, worse than or equivalent to the original Project Rebirth, he’d expected loud noises and at least one needle. Instead, he got thirty seconds on some weird platform and energy barrier around him and then it was done.  


He stepped off the platform feeling the difference. Even though his body hadn’t really started to deteriorate thanks to the serum he could feel the years being lifted off his back like waking up from a bad dream.  


“Looking good Rogers,” Steve heard Bruce say off to his left, he turned to look at him, a smile on his face.   


“It worked then?” He asked, but he could tell from the beaming look on Bruce’s face that the experiment had been successful.   


“I’m not sure about the long-lasting effects or what it’s done to your serum, but then again, we’ve never really known that stuff with you, you could still be immortal for all we know. But your vitals are steady and it certainly looks like it worked, we’ll have to more tests to decide for certain, but for now, I think we’ll call this a success.”   


“That’s it?” Steve asked, incredulously. Bruce smiled.  


“Yeah, you have a mission to complete, and I have a major scientific advancement to destroy.”  


“Hulk smash?” Steve asked and Bruce chuckled, shaking his head.  


“Go on, go get your Bucky.”   


*****

“Come on, Brooklyn, wake up.” A voice pulled him from the black. Bucky felt tapping on his face and lifted a hand to bat it away.   


“Oh thank god, Buck, can you sit up?” The voice asked, Bucky groaned and cracked his eyes open to see metal bars and, behind them, Sam, with a gap-toothed smile on his face.  


“The hell are you smiling for, your rescue team just got captured,” Bucky told him, using his metal arm to push himself up into a sitting position. Sam’s smile fell a little bit, but he obviously wasn’t too worried about it. “There’s no one else back at the compound, Wilson, I’m it.” Sam shrugged.  


“So we’ll just have to get out of this on our own, Falcon and the Winter Soldier, together again.” Now Bucky smiled. Sam was still refusing to call himself Captain America, said the title had yet to feel like it fit. Bucky didn’t have it in him to point out that the title was never going to fit, it’s too big, too important. Steve used to complain about it back in the war, Sam would be worrying about it for years to come. That’s how the shield worked; if you think you’re significant enough for the title, you aren’t, and if you think you aren’t, well you just might be.   


Steve was, and Bucky had no doubt that Sam will be.   


Bucky pushed to his feet, not giving the thought of Steve, or their interaction from earlier that day, time to settle into his mind.   


“Alright, let’s see what we’ve got.” He walked to the door looking at the lock and the hinges. _Flimsy,_ he realized. “I’m guessing they took your suit and shield?” He said, not turning around and instead squatting and looking the frame of the metal door. Sam grunted.  


“Yeah, they’re stupid, but they're not that stupid.” He said. Bucky pushed up and took the last bar in his hand, bracing himself against the wall with his flesh one. He looked over his shoulder to shoot Sam a smile.  


“Debatable.” He rocked his weight away from the door and pulled, the metal ripping from its hinges. He could feel Sam roll his eyes as he walked through the now open door, cockily.   


“Glorified can opener…” Sam grumbled and Bucky smiled.   


“Ostrich.” He grabbed the bars of Sam’s door and ripped it open, Sam was on him before he even got the chance to set it down.   


“You’ve got a pretty bad laceration here,” Sam said gesturing towards where the guard had hit him, then turning his head this way and that. “But other than that you may have a mild concussion.” Bucky laughed and waved him away.   


“I’ll be fine, Sam, let’s get moving. Someone had to have heard all the noise.”   


“It’s good to see you, man,” Sam said with a smile, slapping his back hard enough to rattle his bones, “now what the hell are you doing here?”   


Bucky decided to answer the question as they walked, sure that guards would come rushing in any second to capture them if they didn’t get out of there.   


“Hill needed a hand, and I decided to help her out for once.” Bucky glanced over his shoulder at a dirty Sam, then back down the dim-lit hall spanning in front of them. “How long have they had you?”  


“Three days,” they reached an intersecting hallway, Bucky could hear orders being shouted and the pounding of footsteps. He slammed Sam back against the wall and readied his arm to take bullets but none came. A group of men rushed past them, not even glancing in their direction, not even heading towards the cells that Bucky and Sam had come from. Sam wheezed.   


“Something’s not right,” Bucky hissed, Sam coughed and nodded. “You wanna follow them? Or head to the big guy.”   


“Neither of us has any weapons, so I’d say trying to take down a group of Hydra guards would be a mistake.” Came Sam’s reply and Bucky knew he was right. If he was on his own without an unarmed Sam to worry about he’d stalk the guards no questions asked, but they were vulnerable.  


“Bossman it is,” Bucky said with a vicious smile.   


*****

A second group of Hydra thugs came running into the room, Steve rolled his eyes, stepping over the prone body of one of the last guards.   


He had only been on base for about fifteen minutes and there were already ten guards lying unconscious. Steve smiled at the new arrivals. They hesitated momentarily in their charge, and his smile grew. He had to admit, he missed this.  


“Well? Shall we?” Steve asked, running toward the men, grabbing the closest by the uniform and swinging him over his shoulder, onto the ground. He slammed his shield into the man’s face, knocking him out and probably breaking his nose.  


The other guards got similar treatment until he was down to the last one. Steve shoved him against the wall, a hand wrapped around the man’s throat.   


“Where do you keep your prisoners,” Steve ordered, his breathing steady, but his heart pounding in his ears. “I swear if either of them is injured, I’ll kill you all.”   


“Captain America doesn’t...kill.” The guard struggled, his face shading slightly purple. Steve eased back a little to let the man breath.   


“Good thing I’m not the Captain anymore.” The guard gasped and Steve decided that was enough, pressing down harder than before. “You’ll be the first to go if you don’t tell me where the Winter Soldier is.” He growled. The man clawed at his gloved hand.  


“Six-six floors down.” Steve nodded, slamming the man’s head back against the wall and letting his body drop to the ground.  


“Thanks.” He said to the unconscious man, grabbing his gun and disappearing down the next hallway.  


He _would_ find Bucky, and he didn’t care who he had to kill to do it.  


*****

The hallways were deserted. Bucky and Sam had taken out the three guards they had come across easily, arming themselves with their weapons before moving on.  


Eventually, they reached the source of the screamed orders.   


The man in charge barely glanced at them before lifting the gun in his hand and firing, missing by an impressive distance.  


“I don’t have time for you right now, Soldat, it seems your organization has more up its sleeve than I believed.” He turned away from the screen he was watching, Bucky glanced at it just quick enough to see a flash of gray fighting off multiple guards at once.   


Bucky masked his surprise easily. Even though he recognized that fighting style, that was a problem for later.   


Sam walked forward, seemingly unafraid of the man’s gun despite having been completely stripped of his armor.  


“Johanson, I’m told that you have information on where Loki and the Tesseract are. Give it to me and I’m authorized to offer you temporary immunity, despite your crimes against humanity.” Sam said, Bucky stared at him openly.   


_“That’s_ why we’re here? Captain, you can’t just-” Bucky was cut off by a gunshot, having been too focused on Sam to notice the man raising his pistol again. Bucky’s head snapped toward where the Johanson was standing.  


The man dropped his gun, staring, terrified, at the blood pooling on his shoulder. He screamed in anger, diving for his gun, but Bucky was faster, kicking it away and roughly lifting him off the floor.   


“I guess your time’s up, we’re taking you in.” He growled, slipping a pair of cuffs over Johanson’s wrists. “You shouldn’t have shot him, Rogers,” Bucky said, not turning around. He heard a huff.   


“You shouldn’t’ve taken your eyes off of him. He was going to shoot you, you know.” Bucky didn’t give him an answer, just tightened the cuffs and pushing the man forward.   


“Where’re the Captain’s shield and wings.” Bucky ordered. Johanson rolled his eyes and nodded to the next room.   


“Your weapons too,” Johanson promised and Bucky shot Sam a look, watching as he disappeared into the other room.   


“I thought you were dead,” Steve whispered, but Bucky heard him clearly. It was an old line, tired and overused between the two of them. A wry smile worked its way onto Bucky’s lips, finally looking at Steve, hardly surprised by what he saw.   


“I thought you were older.” And as Steve laughed all Bucky could think of was how much he had missed that sound.  


*****

The debrief passed quicker than any of them was expecting. Johanson had yet to give them anything, but his shoulder wound was taken care of. He was stable and ready to be interrogated. Bucky had volunteered to do it, earning him a disapproving look from Maria and a laugh from Sam.   


He was on his way out the door when someone grabbed his arm. He had been expecting this but was hoping to sneak away before Steve realized. It wouldn’t have been the first time.   


Bucky winced at the thought, Steve quickly withdrawing his arm, probably thinking he had hurt Bucky in some way. Bucky looked to see Steve staring back at him with sad eyes. He cleared his throat.  


“Sorry…” Steve said, running a hand through his once again blond hair. Bucky shrugged, turning to walk away again. “Hey Buck?” Bucky let his shoulders drop and looked back at Steve. “Can we, um, talk for a minute? I have something to tell you.”   


“I dunno, Rogers, I’ve had a bit of a long day.” Bucky didn’t let himself notice the way Steve deflated, didn’t let himself see the broken look in Steve’s eyes. If he did then he’d be screwed, he’d give up and fall right back into Steve.  


“Okay, I just…” Steve paused, “I owe you an explanation I think.” Bucky shook his head.   


“You don’t owe me anything, Stevie, never did,” Bucky said, letting the old nickname slip out one last time. “I’m glad you went to her, you deserved a happy life.” He patted Steve’s shoulder and finally walked away.   


It was true, at least half of it. Steve did deserve a happy life, everyone knew that. Now if only Bucky could convince himself that he was actually glad about it.   


*****

“You need to listen to him,” Sam told him the next day. Bucky laughed bitterly.   


“I need to do jackshit.” He sat on their couch, cereal down in his lap, watching the flakes go smooshy and soft. Sam was distracting him from a perfectly good breakfast.   


“Fine, _he_ needs you to listen to him.” Bucky slammed the bowl down on the table in front of him and shot up, turning to face Sam where he stood by the bookshelf.   


_“And I needed him,”_ Bucky yelled, confused when all Sam did was smile. “What,” Bucky hissed.   


“That’s the first time you’ve admitted it, Brooklyn.” Bucky was speechless.   


“No, it’s not I-”  


“Always swore that you were happy for him.” Sam cut him off.   


“I am happy for him.” Was all Bucky could think to say.  


“Too late, you already admitted it,” Sam teased with a laugh before sobering up. “He did come back for you, Bucky, and he’s young again, back to Steve with the Good Ass.” Bucky snorted at that, but the joy didn’t last long.   


“It doesn’t matter that he's back, never mattered whether he was young or old, you know that. What matters is that I was his second choice, that he knows me well enough to know how much I need him and he didn’t even try to come home to me.” Tears sprung to his eyes no matter how hard he tried to fight them back. “I can’t be with him knowing that I’ll always be his second best.” Sam looked troubled by this admittance and opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by an urgent knock on the door.   


“I’ll get it,” Bucky said with a sniffle, wiping his eyes as he walked.   


“Is that really what you think?” Steve said before Bucky even got the chance to process who was standing right in front of him. Bucky didn’t know how to answer that.   


“Steve? What are you doing here?” Bucky gaped, wiping at his eyes more harshly. Steve hesitated for a moment, glancing behind Bucky.   


“Sam texted me, said it was important.” Steve shrugged.   


“It _is_ important to my sanity that you two get your shit worked out and stop using me as a middle man,” Sam said, brushing past the two of them, his jacket slung over his shoulder. “I promised Wanda I’d go to Wakanda to be there when Vision gets remade since she can’t fly, be back next week.” He waved over his shoulder.   


“We’ll be having a discussion about this!” Bucky called after him. Sam flipped him the bird and disappeared down the street. Steve cleared his throat. “Um… Come in I guess.”   


Steve followed Bucky through the house, shutting the door behind him, and into the living room where Bucky’s soggy cereal still sat.   


“So.” Bucky started, collapsing on the couch, raising an eyebrow when Steve sat on the coffee table in front of him instead of next to him on the couch. Steve shrugged. “How much did you hear?” Steve thought for a moment.   


“From ‘I need to do jackshit.’” Bucky stared at him, an unamused look on his face.  


“So all of it,” Steve nodded. “Jesus Christ we need to have a conversation about your lurking habits.”   


“We need to have quite a few conversations,” Steve replied and Bucky sighed, running a hand over his face.   


“I suppose we do.”   


“Do you really believe what you said?” Steve asked at the same time Bucky said: “I told you I’d miss you.” Steve looked at him surprised then gestured for him to continue.   


“When you left, I told you I’d miss you, I knew you weren’t coming back. Knowing didn’t make it hurt any less.” Bucky looked down at his hands for a minute, trying to decide what to say next, what to ask. “Sam said you weren’t surprised when I wasn’t there to greet you.” Bucky bit his lip. “Did you really know I’d be so upset that I wouldn’t be able to wait around?”   


“Buck…” Steve said, but that wasn’t an answer.   


“Answer the question, Steve.”   


“Yes.” Bucky had expected that answer, but his eyes still began to refill with tears. He nodded.  


“Why then, Steve? I know you loved her but-” Bucky choaked back a sob.  


“Buck? Bucky. Look at me please.” Steve said, wrap his fingers around Bucky’s chin and lifting his face. Bucky was surprised to see Steve’s eyes brimming with unshed tears as well.   


“My tracker overheated on the last jump, a bug Bruce didn’t realize existed. I tried to come back, I swear to you. No one I went to could help me, but everything I did, everything I _tried_ to do was to get back here to you.” Steve told him with nothing but sincerity in his eyes, but Bucky wasn’t following.   


“But what about…”   


“Peggy?” Steve finished for him. Bucky nodded. “I went to Peggy, didn’t take much explaining for her to understand. She let me stay with them, her and her husband until I decided it was time to bite the bullet and get a job. She built a life for herself, Buck, she let me live it with them, but I didn’t live it _with her._ ” A tear slipped from Bucky’s eye, Steve caught it with his thumb.  


“So you didn’t stay, not really.” Steve shook his head.   


“No, you jerk, you come first,” Steve shot him a watery smile, “‘til the end of the line.” Bucky threw himself forward, wrapping Steve in a hug.   


“Cheesy punk.” He mumbled into Steve’s shoulder earning himself a laugh, but there was obviously still something on to other man’s mind. Bucky pulled back slightly, arms still wrapped around Steve’s shoulders. “What is it?”   


Steve was lost in his head, his hand absently rubbing Bucky’s back, unaware of the shivers it was causing. Bucky studied him carefully.   


“Steve?” Bucky asked and Steve shook himself. “What’s wrong?”   


“There’s, uh, something else…” Steve stuttered, Bucky raised an eyebrow.  


“Okay, and that something is?” Steve cast his eyes away, staring at nothing.  


“I, um, I-” Bucky laughed and shook his head, pulling Steve from the table, onto the couch instead.  


“Spit it out, Stevie.”   


“I think I’m in love with you.” Bucky froze for a second before he started laughing again. Steve’s face fell slightly, his eyes dropping to his lap. “I don’t see why it’s that funny.” He said after a moment and Bucky realized that Steve was taking his laughter as rejection. His laughter stopped as the thought hit him. He sprung up, squating in front of Steve, taking the other man’s hands in his own.   


“Oh, Steve, that’s not what I was laughing at,” He said, a smile on his face as he brought one of Steve’s hands up to his lips, placing a kiss on it. Steve looked down at him a confused crease in his brow. “I just thought that you had gathered by now that I’m completely gone for you. Why do you think I was so upset when you didn’t come back?”   


“You… You love me?” Steve asked, the light returning to his eyes. Bucky nodded.  


“Yes, idiot, I’m in love with you.” He let go of one of Steve’s hands, reaching up to wrap his hand around Steve’s neck instead, hauling him closer. “I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you.” He whispered, Steve shook his head.   


“I should have told you sooner.” Steve replied, pressing closer.   


“Maybe, either way, I missed you.”   


“You didn’t have to go sixty years.” Bucky rolled his eyes.  


“Competitive punk.”   


“You love me though.” Steve said and Bucky nodded.  


“‘Til the end of the line.” He promised, finally closing the gap between them and kissing his best friend.   


*****


End file.
